Tune in for an insightful rollercoaster, as we unmask the tedious dance of small talk, delve into the cross-cultural quagmire, and challenge societal norms around relationships. No ‘Karen’ goes unmentioned in this exciting episode!
Transcript
Rashed: So I, have a running joke.
I have a running joke. So that no, it’s a joke too. No, it’s also a joke. It’s a running joke in the sense people ask me, oh, what are you gonna get married? And all that kind of stuff. And I, say that what I need is, I need some to find someone for a marriage of convenience. And so basically I need to find a Muslim girl, I don’t care where she’d be from, but who basically is a lesbian and can’t be open to her family, but she’s also has her family on her back to get married and then just do that.
She can live her life and then I can live my life as a, single dude, but just to get each other’s families off, each other’s backs and just be like, have fun. Come to come
Majid: to karate. I’ll get you married within a week. Guarantee her a lesbian, a passport. I’ll get g I guarantee you, you a marriage of convenience a week.
The over here there very much about this.
Waseem: You just stumbled on the social media app idea of the century, right? Like convenience, marriage.
Rashed: Like,
marriage of convenience. So some, crap like that. Yeah
Waseem: Yeah, MLC.
Majid: The new green card marriage.
Waseem: Yeah, Five compatible person.
Like without for love for, life. As
Majid: long as you can pay the bills, pay your half of the rent a
Waseem: like
Rashed: you’re good to you can still develop a good friendship with this person. It doesn’t have to be like, you just don’t even like each other. You can still like each other as human beings.
I
Waseem: mean, the volume of this what you’re talking about here is very common in the Middle East, right? At least I, know this is very common, right? We it’s, one of those things where we stick our heads in the sand and it’s safer for us to not deal with reality as it is, but deal it’s, and it’s safer.
And makes more sense like I, for everybody,
Majid: yo by the way for everybody, all the system involve everybody. So
Waseem: you could fight, you could try like when you’re younger, like the, fight is a sign of youth and you are not ready. So we have to kill that fight. Like we need to have this gone and so that you can be smart and.
Find some convenience in your life, right? And that and, very smart people do that and that, and they’ve, they’re very happy cuz their life is full of conveniences now.
Rashed: I don’t see anything wrong with it personally, whatever,
Waseem: but even understanding that I made no judgment whatsoever. I actually, I just said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I think it’s, normal and I think that from a third culture perspective we’re, even more understanding.
Of this I imagine I wanna take it to another level and say, okay, can this exist in the third culture, like a marriage of con this is, that’s what’s been going on right now, right? Especially I’m, careful to go down this road, but with all of the the polyamory and the the non, not like the non-monogamy, let’s say or, the being an open in a relationship like, having a.
All of that is also part has to do with convenience, right? Like it has to do with convenience within it, with, to people. And people are it’s, one of those, it’s one of those topics where you, not as you, it’s easy to judge. Like it’s easy because it sounds so weird to, to, some people.
To some people it sounds totally natural. I think it’s an area where we, I would love to have more discussion about the area in this, topic, but without the like emotional baggage, it’s usually attached to the topic. It’s like one of those, like it’s a trigger topic, right? Look at them all. They’re married like this and this what, And and I can understand where that talk comes from. Look at all those people. The, judgment, the it’s dripping in it. And that, that if I was polyamorous, I would be like Hey, we’re not gonna be able to have a good conversation about this because of how you just approached me. So we’re not gonna we’re, gonna get beefy. Versus the oth and even the other way, even this, actually ties to what we had been talking about last week, when the other way we’re being like, Then I, it would entrench me into my polyamory position. Be, and then I would make claims like polyamory is the only way.
We are not designed to live in single relationships for 20, 30, 40 years. This is never how it’s been. And it’s a, it is a colonial import that you, that like I I, will do the same thing. That had happened last that, we had discussed in the, bunker mentality kicks in. Yeah. Yeah. I then, okay. No, yeah, I got this right there.
That’s exactly what’ll happen. And it’s another one of those topics where I wish we had less of that, judgment, that emotional baggage and more of the okay, let’s discuss let’s explore both the pros and cons of long-term monogamy and. Like a polyamory without freaking out or and even if we are discussing what we may say is the fabric of society, right?
Because relationships are the fabric of society, right? Like rela like the, that is truly where, societies are built on the relationships that we have with each other. And so that’s, something that I would love to, I guess, Stress for us to explore and think about and just note our emotional baggage that will, drive our thinking there so that we can po you know, come up to a more nuanced understanding of this phenomenon.
Majid: Spoken like a true third culture. Let’s be a little bit flexible guys. Let’s hear everybody out. Let’s not be judgmental. Everybody gets a participation. Trophy spoken like a true. Third culture, millennial. And I like it. I’m all down for it, bro. I’m not, again, see, this is what I mean. If I make this kind of joke with someone who’s not necessarily used to our style of humor of ribbing or being a little bit aggressive, they, a lot of people find me like over there who are from monocultures there, or even here.
Who are from one, yes, also from very blunt and they’re not used to my American style of like I say, no to their face or I’ll complain if I have something to say. I don’t talk to the cashier. I’ll go straight to the manager. That’s something America, Karen, miss Karen taught me very well, is just I don’t need to talk to you.
Just call your manager. Let’s get this over with, and they’re not used to that at all. It’s a very they’re used to a very different, beat around the bushes mentality. And they don’t like my, if you can’t,
Waseem: doesn’t jive with them. Yeah. If you can’t laugh at the fact that your name is Karen, that, that’s, then you, there’s your problem right there.
Rashed: But it’s like that is an indication.
Waseem: That you’re gonna have to chill out. Yo like, you, you don’t choose there’s so much in life that you don’t chooses. And you just have to deal with, it’s true.
Majid: Karen is the new N-word. And that they’ve been that group has been arguing this for a while.
They’ve, I’ve
Waseem: been So they, they stopped naming kids, Karen. Like, that. Like they look up names now like kids, little girls. Don’t get named Karen no more.
Majid: By the way, Raj, one little point. A small talk about small talk. Shouldn’t you? Out of all three of us love small talk. I just wanted to go to this little point of cuz his job is like customer service.
Pure leagues facing customers on a daily basis isn’t half your job where I would even say 70% of your job, small talk.
Rashed: Absolutely. And that’s why I hate it so much in my personal life. That’s why. So I wanna get away from that nonsense because I just don’t feel like the thing, but it’s also different because when I say small talk, I’m talking about when you’re at a gathering and it’s a bunch of strangers and, it’s the same questions over and over again.
And, what do you do? Where’d you grow up? This, oh, your name’s interesting. What does that mean? Or where is it from? Or why is it an E? Shouldn’t it be an I? Is it Rashid? Is it, what is it? The, like I get confused cause I seen E and I’m like how did we, do you want me to explain to you the grammatical translation that went wrong when my dad wrote my name on the birth certificate?
What do you want from me? It’s just, it’s related to the name, but it’s not the same name, like in these type of things. But my, talking at work is I have memorized announcements that I make. I have, what would you like to drink? Sit down, put your seatbelt on, you’re an idiot.
Let’s it’s annoying because of the fact that I’m babysitting adults who should know better. One day. I would love, to be able to one day make my landing announcement, do the cabin check. And every adult has done what they’ve been told over a large PA system and not be argued with one day it’d be fucking fantastic.
Michelle. Hate, humans. I’m not gonna lie, dude.
Waseem: Someone needs a vacation. I do need a vacation. Needs a bit of a, I didn’t realize last time,
Rashed: last time I left the, was last time I left the country was the trip to like the country for an actual personal trip was. Thailand. So it’s been a while. I need to get outta here.
Waseem: So maybe you could turn it around. Rash should, and then instead of having small t done to you, you can do the small talk to them. Let think about that. The small talker. Yeah. Not the small talker. Karen. Like when she introduces herself and she says, ah, my name’s Karen. You go, oh, where’s that from? Yeah.
Rashed: Yeah, I hear ya.
Yeah. Yeah, that’s an interesting name. What’s the background? Is that with a C or a K? Yeah. And is that with an O or an or
Waseem: an E? You have a preference, but usually even in that, you’re assessing someone’s ability to verbally spar, and if you’re a person that likes to verbally spar, you will only really get a lot.
You want to hang out because if someone won’t play with you, like the whole point of life is to play, right? It’s to play with each other. And so if the person isn’t gonna play with you or they’re not fun to play with, then you’re like, all right, move on. Okay next, Swipe, swipe left. Like
Rashed: good mixing.
Majid: Good mixing of all of it. That was a good summary.
Rashed: At least that, changes the narrative a bit, where now it’s like I’m, small talk in.
Majid: What do you the listeners think? Relationships are the fabric of society, of our community. It is the foundational element to anything whether platonic or romantic.
What do you guys think about Third culture, kids getting together. We didn’t delve into cultural appropriation within all of that, but maybe that’ll be for a next episode. We can talk about like, where’s the line between all of this? Taking part in the culture and cultural appropriation or whatever.
But what do you guys think? The youth listener, what do you think third culture, kids relationships, platonic, romantic monoculture. Is it easier? Is it harder? Code switching is that like the reason for it? For Wam, Rashid and Maid, we are the third culture convo podcast. Peace out. Take care. Have
Rashed: a good moron subscribe and share.
I hope you like this one. Peace. Peace. I like the Wam part. The WAM one was good.
Waseem: Peace please.